The text lists ten practices in negotiations that are critically important. One option would be to list them all and speak to why each is valuable, but that feels like an insincere effort to write a chapter report. Additionally, Roy J. Lewicki, David M. Saunders, and Bruce Barry aren’t just giving this information for free. Obviously, preparation helps you, finding options to get the BATNA is essential, and you need to be willing to walk away. But the real trick in negotiations seems to be handling the paradoxes that arise in negotiations.
The text talks about value, principles, changing strategy, honesty, and trust in terms of paradoxes. Being able to shift a strategy mid-negotiation for new option or being open to the flow seem natural to me (though I keep real options in my head at all times). The dilemma over openness versus being closed is intriguing. I can never seem to tell how much to give away. In my last simulated negotiation, I did not know what information should stay secret, and what he already knew. I became somewhat more disturbed by what I might give away when he dropped a big piece of secret information regarding a need for my side without blinking an eye. I went from little leverage to a pretty decent amount. While I was obviously pleased with that immediate result, I couldn’t help but think I might accidentally give away a game changer at some point. This is why I tend to lean towards an opaque approach. I am typically put outside my comfort zone when I am asked questions point blank. I don’t want to lie because my reputation is important for future negotiation, but I don’t want to give away too much.
Like the paradox between transparency and opacity, another key theme is trust and distrust. In these exercises, I have generally accepted my opponent’s words as true. That said, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m not so sure I should distrust my adversary, but an approach should be skeptical. One should appear to mostly trust, and to account for what is said, but to slightly push other boundaries when something cannot be believed. For example, I have been in a few negotiations where my opponent has said “that is as low/high as I can go.” I haven’t believed that once. I think approaching a negotiation with skepticism helped me overcome being muscled out of a position.
